Monday, January 27, 2014

Week 41 - In Need of DIVINE Help!

Wengapo family:]

Well I feel that the longer I'm out here the more lazy I feel towards emailing everybody about my week so I just wanna share a couple quick experiences!
When I was set apart as a missionary in my blessing I was told that as I served with all my heart that I would be forgiven of all my previous sins. Now I've kinda been holding onto that line because if anybody could use some extra forgiveness it definitely is this girl right here. Well as I was doing personal study, I came across 3 Nephi 22:4 and I completely felt this overwhelming feeling of relief. That I didn't have to sit here and beat myself up for some of the wrong decisions that I made before choosing to serve a mission. I don't need to be ashamed for the things that I have done while in my youth. And I got to thinking of all the changes that really have occurred while I have been out here.   Haha let's just look at me last year... and then look at the way I am now and while that process hasn't been easy, it's definitely been worth it.  After studying we got to attend a talk by Sherry Dew who is seriously one the coolest ladies I have heard speak.  She made a statement that really stood out to me "Are you going to continue walking by yourself with your own puny talent.. or will you be willing to humble yourself and let our Father and ALL the power that He has help you?" Man how true is that?  We can either continue walking this life on our own thinking that we can handle it.. OR we can choose Him.  He has literally given us so many things to help us out, are we really taking advantage of them?  Sister Dew made the comment that when she was in the General Relief Society they had this I.D. card that she never really thought to use.  On the day before she was released she put it up to a card reader and the door next to it unlocked.  Unfortunately by the time she realized she had this sweet card that could unlock almost any of the doors in the church buildings it was too late.. she was released and the card was deactivated.  So basically are we taken for granted the things that we have right in our pocket?  Heavenly Father is there.. are we asking Him for his help?
We also did have a baptism! hah it will probably be my one and only in Katy... Julia and Angelina LaRocco:] Their parents were just recently baptized in June and their dad Louis got to baptize them.  We planned the whole thing and it actually went really smoothly. Holla!  There was a really cool moment though right before Louis was going to baptize angelina where he looked over at me and he had tears in his eyes. He knew that what he was doing was so special and it was a privilege to me that I got to be a part of it.  I love life changing moments.  I really really do.

The next day in ward council we decided that we were going to be bold... mmm not that I haven't been bold this whole stinkin time but hey we were gonna try again.  As they turned the time over to us I asked them who in the room can say that they sincerely pray for the missionaries and for opportunities to share the gospel everyday.. I got a whole lot of silence.  I asked a couple other questions and what did i get?  More silence.  I then asked, pleaded and begged for their help and then the subject was changed. WILL I EVER GET THROUGH TO THESE PEOPLE?!  Am i speaking Hebrew?  During sacrament meeting I just felt the weight of the world on my heart.  I broke down at the end of it and got surrounded by some really sweet ladies in the ward.  I hate crying in front of people especially when I'm supposed to be that happy cheerful excited missionary.. but I broke haha and it seemed like once the floods started they couldn't stop.  Sweet mercy.  It's just gotten to the point where I really have NO idea why I am serving here in Katy?  Seriously can someone please tell me the point to all of this?  We didn't even go to our Sunday school class we just went and sat in the back of primary cuz heck.  There's no better feeling than a flock of children running up to you and saying how much they love you and due to the fact that we were having such a craptastic day we went over to the Soods, aka my favorite family here in Katy and low and behold being at their house really made my day a lot better.  They have become like our little go-to family and I don't think I ever realized how much of blessing that is to have as a missionary. Just a family that at any time you could call up and say hey can we just come over real quick?  They mean so much to me. 
Well low and behold that's pretty much it! Just hangin in there and trying to just do what's right!  I love you ALL and I hope this week is so great for everyone!

Love, Sister Bowden

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